when i was little i thought food poisoning meant that someone had literally poisoned your food and one time my sister got food poisoning from mccdonalds so i told everyone at school that the drive thru guy tried to kill my sister
"It’s pronounced like jif"
Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck
whats the sleepiest mineral?
Ores and minerals are completely different things
dammit jim, im a comedian not a geologist
Never skip leg day. [x]
Do you ever catch yourself thinking rude things about someone or judging them and you’re like “hey stop that, that’s not nice don’t u do that”
When you tryna go home and your moms still talking to friends
arent parents supposed to not make you feel like shit
my aesthetic: a potted cactus on a skateboard, always moving, no one knows where it came from or where it’s going